Southern Detour

I am still overwhelmed from the outpour of love and encouragement we got after sharing our journey with infertility.  From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for taking the time to read our story and leave a note!  

A weight has truly been lifted after sharing our burden of infertility.  I felt like we were keeping this huge secret for no reason.  We are living it everyday and ’tis life.  I truly feel like God is working through Erik and I, our journey, and our trials.  I pray our vulnerability has touched you in some way or encouraged you in your own journey.  Knowing we’re helping others somehow makes all of this seem a little lighter.

When I first realized we needed fertility help, those were some of the darkest days of my life.  When you’re down Satan just loves to kick ya.  He constantly pours lies into your mind and makes you feel like you’re drowning in despair.  The only way to rise above this is to speak truth, read truth, and grow closer to Jesus.  It’s a NEW YEAR and we’re going to work at this together! I am so happy to share with you a few ways that have helped me tremendously in our journey:

First, tell yourself that your situation or trial does NOT define you.  Just because you’re going through an incredibly hard time doesn’t mean your life as a whole is ruined.  “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9) God knows the crushing feeling Erik and I are experiencing and He knows how you feel too. Find light in everyday.  Talk to God and let him know exactly how you’re feeling.  He understands, He cares, and He will send you comfort.  Just remember, there will be better days.  Have grace with yourself, have grace with others, and trust you’re doing the best you can.

I could easily tell myself those things everyday, but sometimes I needed the extra reminder. I found I love doing a quick devotion in the mornings. After telling my parents we were dealing with this, my mom surprised me with the sweetest book, In Due Time by Caroline Harries. It’s a 60-Day Devotional on “Hope & Encouragement in the Waiting.” My mom did the devotional also and we learned it was helpful no matter the trial you’re facing. Just spending the extra 5-10 minutes in the morning with Jesus helps me throughout the rest of my day! I have also LOVED the book, It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way by Lysa Terkuerst and the devotional, Embraced by Lysa.

Social media is such a big part of our lives now. I love keeping up with family and friends via Facebook/Instagram. I’ve always followed a few gals sharing their infertility struggles, but when we found ourselves in the same situation, their encouragement and posts meant so much more to me. I began searching for similar accounts and I didn’t feel so alone. I may not know these people personally, but I know their hurts and fears. I’ve got a little community base and I love being encouraged by ladies who have walked in my shoes. If infertility is your struggle, I highly suggest following the #infertility! It’s opened my eyes so much and revealed there are SO many couples dealing with this. You’re never alone!

Due to social media being a big part of our lives, we’re also on our phones constantly. I know this may seem small, but it’s such a little pick-me-up throughout my day! Find some encouraging/hopeful phone screens on Pinterest. Save them as your “lock screen” and each time you go to open your phone you’ll see that bit of hope. I change mine every couple weeks. Here are a few of my favorites…Pray, Grace, Worth, Spirit.

Social media is great, but you also need a real life community that has your back. Opening up to my family and close friends about our struggle is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s extremely difficult telling the people who love you most this disappointment and pain you’ve been dealing with. I didn’t want anyone else to carry this burden, but I quickly learned we would not be able to carry this ourselves. I needed my mama to surprise me with that devotional, I need the random “how are you” texts from my mother-in-law, the cheer-me-up talks from my sister + sister-in-law, and the extra knowledge from my close friends who have been through this. I’m not sure I could have made it without all these little moments combined. I think I would have had a mental breakdown, pulled my hair out, or legit lost it without them! Be sure you have your “people!!” Just know if you’ve made it this far in this post, I’m always here for you!

There’s so many other things that have helped, but these really stood out to me. Now I want to hear what’s helped you through your trials! Please let me know below and I’ll be praying for you, friend.

Love,

Fallon